Failing Operation Romance

Less than two months ago, Nik and I embarked on Operation Romance with all of our enthusiasm. I was confident I wouldn’t want this to turn to a “real relationship” at any point, and we were both excited for what we were sure would be, “just an experiment.”

However, somewhere along the way, we forgot about the experiment and nestled into a real relationship. In retrospect, it was inevitable. As a person, Nik is absolutely amazing. We have a lot in common. We share similar values and want the same things out of life. We get along fabulously.

And so, inevitably, we fell in love with each other. We stopped being interested in examining and analyzing relationships. We started discussing a future that extends past the experiment.

These days, we are happy just being together as a real couple, despite the unconventional beginning to our relationship. It is a failure of Operation Romance, but the beginning of a long, exciting relationship for Nik and I. It would be superfluous to continue writing about our relationship, so this is our last entry. We are grateful that you started the journey with us, and hope that you will support our love the way you have supported our experiment.



Making a Home

Nik and I have moved to North Carolina! We packed up all our bags, put them in the car, and drove down from NYC last Wednesday. We moved into our new apartment the next day and are slowly putting together everything needed to make ourselves at home.

Personally, I’m ecstatic about being here! It’s a beautiful place with clean air and lots of parks near the city, the people are incredibly friendly, and the weather is fantastic (by my Canadian standards).  I’ve had the chance to explore parts of the city, and there are interesting shops, restaurants and opportunities everywhere.

The moving process has also allowed us to try all these new relationship experiences.

The biggest “relationship step” was co-signing a lease together, but surprisingly that felt the easiest, as it was just paperwork to sign off on.

Instead, we found it more challenging making household purchases together, exasperated by the fact that neither of us are particularly fond of shopping. For example, a few nights ago, Nik and I literally spent an hour  trying to pick out a shower curtain for our new bathroom. We considered all sorts of textures, colours, and patterns and couldn’t even decide on one. We eventually realized that we were having such a hard time because both of us wanted to pick a curtain that we thought the other person would approve of.  I like to think that we have gotten better at shopping together since we eventually managed to get shower curtains, a mattress, and most of our kitchenware together. However, this will be put to the test again this weekend as we pick out furniture!


An Apology & Two Reasons

To begin, a big apology to all our loyal readers that have been anxiously waiting for an update for the past two weeks. There are two big reasons I haven’t written anything about us in the last little while.

The first reason is that we’ve honestly just been really busy.

For President’s Day weekend, Nik and I flew to California to his brother’s house. We had a lovely couple of days with Nik’s university friends (and one of my good friends from the area were able to join us as well). We returned here to NYC to a house full of some of Nik’s other friends. As a natural introvert, being around large groups of people at all times takes an emotional toll on me, but Nik checked in often to make sure I was doing okay. His friends were all so nice too that I did sincerely enjoy my time with them. Before they even left, we were off again for the weekend to meet up with his mom.

TWe are officially moving to Raleigh, North Carolina, and Nik’s mom wanted to help us find a place there beforehand. Meeting your boyfriend’s mom can be a scary experience, but I felt comfortable with her right from the start. She was just a great person all around: fun, generous, and kind. As an example, I was at a store and found a raincoat I liked that was beyond my budget, so she snuck back into the shop and bought it for me afterwards.

The second, more important reason I haven’t written anything here lately is because of how I’ve been feeling toward Nik.

As we round out our first month of Operation Romance, the lines are blurring.

I know I’m falling for Nik.

I’m still interested in the experiment, but lately I’ve been happy to just let myself feel in love with Nik. The relationship has felt completely real in the last two weeks. I found myself wanting to bask in the experience rather than write about it. Being around strangers while Nik was the only familiar one made me feel closer to him. Spending time with his mom and learning about Nik’s history made him seem more of a real person, existing outside our months together. I still fully accept the terms of our experiment (and that it will end), but now there is an added dimension.

As I have had time now to accept the new dynamics of our relationship, I do hope to continue writing more frequently about the insights we gain together on love and cohabitation, as per the original goal.


A Few Thoughts on Sex

Nik and I have not been intimate together yet since the project started. I originally suggested that we get emotionally closer before getting physical, and Nik agreed. Since we will be moving in a few weeks, we have agreed to make it special and wait for the first night in our new place.

Of course, Nik and I are very attracted to each other. We share a bed each night, and often fall asleep in each other’s arms. One morning, we got bored while doing the laundry and made out for hours. Sometimes we can’t keep our hands off each other for no good reason (biology?).

However, I completely understand now the pleasure of waiting. There is something about just sitting together and kissing for hours, without the expectation of anything else. We can take our time and get to know all the parts of each other. I already feel more physically comfortable with Nik than I have with anyone else. And it would be an understatement to say that we are very, very excited for our first time.


Romance in Central Park

I just had to make a quick post to say that I had the most romantic date of my life tonight.

I wanted to go for a Sunday walk, so Nik and I wandered around Central Park for the past eight hours. There were beautiful snowflakes everywhere, which looked lovely under the park lamps, Nik sang me romantic songs, and we even found a snow fort to steal a few kisses in!


Spending Time Apart

I had to go to Kansas for work, so we’re spending our first few days apart.  Last night I meant to give her a quick call before going to bed and we ended up talking for almost an hour: that’s a lot for me because I hate talking on the phone and never have long phone calls!  But it felt like only a few minutes.  This morning it was lonely waking up without Jo beside me.  At least I have a full day of meetings to run off to and keep me distracted.

We’ve also started a little tradition where I sing to Jo every morning to try and get her out of bed–I wake up early & full of energy, but she’s a lazy sleepyhead.  So I recorded a song from my hotel room today and sent it to her.  Not as good as being there, but hopefully it made her morning a bit brighter 🙂


Spending Lots & Lots & Lots of Time Together

When couples start to date, there is this often period of time where they disappear from the world, and into each other. That’s where Nik and I have been lately.

For the last few days, we have literally spent every (non-working) moment together. We went for a jog together. We enjoyed the ballet together (unfortunately, Nik also enjoyed some of the sexier ballerina outfits a little too much). We went to watch the Superbowl together. We may have mourned the shameful performance of the Broncos together, but we were pretty drunk by then and can’t be sure. Nik went shopping with me. I went to his barbershop with him.

We ate together, fell asleep together, woke up together. We stretched together. We caught up on my TV shows together. Mostly, we spent long periods of time doing nothing together, which were some of my favourite moments. Nik is a great conversationalist, and I find that really sexy.

I think it was important for us to take this time and focus so wholeheartedly on each other. It helped us get to know each other together. I certainly trust Nik more. We also have other commitments coming up (work, friends visiting, travelling) so the opportunity to lose ourselves in each other like this won’t be there again for a while.